And Where do I Go From Here?

I’m Not Where I Should Be, I should preparing to go out into the world doing missions right now. If Things went They Should of, I would have gone to a Meeting with OM way back in September but I freaked out and never replied to an email from them, and still haven’t. I Think I really Really Screwed Things Up Here, I Was Running away from what God Wanted for my life,from what was better. now I’m not sure How to get back on track with Gods plan  for  my life. I’ve got no clue what I’m supposed  to do. I’m not sure If My not replying to that email completely screwed up my chances with OM or Not, or what to do about it. I feel utterly stuck. I’m in need of God’s Direction.